How To Make Your Long-Distance Relationship Work

I have been with my girlfriend for nearly two years now. she has been living overseas for the entire time, and in the past two years, we have probably spent about a month together, in person.

Most people would shudder at this, asking “how the f*ck have you kept your relationship alive for this long?”. The answer is multi-layered, but still pretty simple.

I’m not going to bore you with the backstory of our relationship, even though it is kind of romantic and cute, I’m just going to get to the nitty-gritty.

Trust. Trust is the very first thing you need if you are going to make any relationship work, and it is even more important for a long-distance one. You will go insane if you suspect your partner, who is thousands of miles away, of cheating.

You need to trust that distance isn’t a problem for them, but you must also ensure that they know it isn’t a problem for you either. Expecting them to fully commit to the distance thing while you just sit on the fence is ridiculous, it goes both ways.

This obviously plays a part when it comes to cheating as well. How would your partner find out? They wouldn’t know who to ask, and you wouldn’t know who to ask on their side.

I have never cheated, and never will, but if your partner is a bit insecure or is still easing into the long-distance thing, it is vital that you are an open book, as anything “suspicious” can be taken very seriously.

This also ties into the next point, communication. There is no “talking with your eyes” or “actions speak louder than words” in a long-distance relationship. You have to talk, about everything, as much as you can.

There is nothing my girlfriend and I don’t talk about. What we are eating, wearing, what we did that day, how we slept, what we bought at the shop, sending pictures of anything and everything we find mildly interesting and enjoyable. All of this is valuable as hell, cause at the end of the day, it’s all you have.

You can’t cuddle or kiss, all you can do is to message and video call. This also leads to you being incredible at communication, being able to express and articulate how you feel, which is vital in any relationship anyway, but long-distance forces you to be good at it.

Considering the time we live in with technology being advanced as it is, take advantage of the fact that you can have fun, online dates. Escape rooms, games, movies, quizzes, virtual tours, these things may be lame to some but they are so important for a relationship that relies on technology.

My girlfriend and I have spent ages trying to sync up movies so we can watch them at exactly the same time like we were in the same room. This small, and yes very tedious, exercise just adds to the experience, makes it seem a bit more “real”.

Do online dates, if you’re in the same time zone, or just a couple of hours apart, have meals together, do your work together while the video call is on, just so that you can be “together” more, or just hang out and do your own thing while a video call is on. Exist together as much as you can.

Last, but not least, keep the romance alive. Nowadays, it is so easy to buy flowers and get them delivered on the other side of the planet, to send letters, and yes, to keep the flame lit in the virtual bedroom.

You have to step your dirty talk game up. If that is the stage that your relationship is at, you need to keep that fire burning. Send proper dirty messages, not a random d*ck pic or something like that, write about something you want to do with the other person, be descriptive, write is out how you would want it to happen in real life.

Yes, this could be awkward, but you’re still human, you still have needs, talk to your partner about the best ways to go about satisfying those needs, and then do something you both enjoy.

These were just a few points, there are a ton more, but I feel like these are the most important. Trust, communication, and romance, long-distance can’t and won’t work without all three.

I’m going to be moving in with my girlfriend in the next couple of months, taking the big step and moving overseas to be with her. These points have helped us get to where we are, and I hope they can help other couples as well.